Category Archives: Advice

Great articles about choosing a life partner.

If your relationship goal is life partnership, check out these wonderful articles over at Wait, but Why!  Hilariously written and illustrated with AWESOME wisdom to boot.

http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html

http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner-part-2.html

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10 Things You Ought Not Say on a First Date With Me (if you Want a Second Date)

1.  I am about to quit my [steady restaurant management] job because I now grow and sell marijuana, which is a lot more lucrative.  Half the duplex I rent is already planted and the harvest will be in February.

2.  I have a baby-mama AND;

3.  I met her while working as a bartender at [a super shady local bar].

4.  We got pregnant within a month.

5. We got engaged when we got pregnant.

6. We had a ton of conflict and broke up after the first kiddo was born.

7. She’s a crazy and really angry person.

8.  Though we never got married, we had a second kid in spite of the issues mentioned above.

9.  The kids are 1 and a half and three years old.  Their mom moved them 6 hours away without my permission.  Because we never got married, I have little legal recourse to see them.

10.    I am about to use all my marijuana-growing money to hire attorneys to get my kids back from their deadbeat mother.

Sorry, not sorry for not calling you for a second date, sir.  Involvement with you, even on a friendship level, would likely cause disruption to the serenity I have worked so hard to cultivate in my life as a single person.

No kisses for you,

Captain Cadmium

Captain’s Log, 9/19/14: Just Don’t

I posted an ad on Craigslist for a fishing buddy in the hopes that I’d meet a nice man who would enjoy the outdoors with me, help me improve my flycasting and teach me some fishing hot spots in the area.  I did meet someone- We’ll call him Just Don’t. We met up after exchanging several emails and a couple of pictures (nothing racy- that’s not how I roll).  His pictures were nothing to crow about, but the guy wasn’t hideous or anything, and he used pretty solid grammar, spelling and mechanics in his emails, so I figured, why not meet up and see what kind of chemistry was or wasn’t there.  Continue reading

Captain’s Log, 9/21/14: Slow Loris

Tags: taking it slow, dating, boundaries, emotional intimacy

I’ve been given the relationship advice lately to “take it slow” and I’m realizing I don’t actually know what that means. Embarrassingly, I had to search online for tips. Yeah, I’m the one that falls into a relationship directly after the previous (serial dater). New people and new bodies are just so exciting, I can’t help but fall into the web of infatuation. Noticing this pattern, my older mentors worry about my tendency to jump into things much too fast.  Continue reading